Sunday, September 11, 2011

Content Claustrophobia

It is past my bedtime. Way past my bedtime. If I could hit my pillow and be asleep around 9:30pm, I would be one very happy and satisfied woman. However, tonight, I'm wide awake at almost midnight. Usually, one of two things when I can't fall asleep:

1.  I make to-do lists in my head. No, I'm not kidding. Lists help me keep track of life whether they are written down or in my head. I make lists as I'm laying in bed thinking about things to accomplish the next day, over the next week, sometime in the future. I make lists about decorating ideas, do-it-myself projects and things I want to try baking. Usually, it puts me right to sleep.

2.  When lists don't work, I write stories in my head. Honestly, this one sounds even weirder, but it's my failsafe-go-to-sleep that works. Stories about my day, dumb things Remington did, and so on. Well, I'm still awake, so both have failed me. Epic fail.

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I spent my day (well, most of my day) alone. The Hubs was gone for the entire day, which even though I missed him, some good quality alone time is always good for the heart. I soaked up every moment I could. As usual, when I'm home alone, I clean. I scrubbed, washed, folded and tidied like nobody's business. You can smell the clean when you walk in the door (joking, but seriously and it's not just the candles either). Perhaps all of the alone time rejuvenated me too much. I'm so "rejuved" that I have too much energy to sleep. Who knows, good theory though, right? Whatever the reason, today was so good. So good.

When things get messy I feel claustrophobic. Sounds dumb, right? Instead of small, tight spaces, messy areas make me feel like they are closing in on me. I know in past posts, I've written about how piles of dishes and mounds of laundry make me crazy. Well, perhaps a better and more descriptive way to explain what a messy house feels to me is like a huge, man-eating mouth that is ready to whole-heartedly consume any person who attempts to even wash a fork or match a pair of socks. Yeah, we just might be able to sum that up in feeling claustrophobic.

This feeling bothers me. I want to be the type of woman that is content in everything, yet I want to be the type of woman that always looks to improve. How the heck do you balance housework that way? I'm not really a grey-area type of person. It's either clean or it's messy. You can't be both. So, how can I manage both? Claustrophobic and cleaning?

Here's what I'm going with. At least for tonight. At a quarter past midnight. I'm going to be a content cleaning claustrophobic. I've written before about cleaning schedules (again, no I'm not kidding - remember, I make to-do lists to fall asleep?). Cleaning schedules - I prefer the word routine, so cleaning routines help get my day going and wrap it up. Do some dishes, fold a little bit of laundry, sweep the kitchen. No biggie, right? Right. Just as long as it does not keep up to the wee hours of morning. Just as long as it does not come before hanging out with my hubs or besty.

So, I cleaned today and when the Hubs got home, I was done. I have more laundry sitting in the closet, but that's okay. I did what I could today. I'm content. And the crazy thing is, this doesn't just apply to cleaning. Work, strained relationships, homework- you give 100% during the day and when it's time to call it quits for the day- you know you gave it your best.

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To wrap up your wonderful Saturday/Sunday evening, here is Aruba watching tennis. 

I had no idea she was such a fan!



 

If you can't see the video, please let me know. 
I'm still learning the ropes on here.
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