Thursday, September 22, 2011

Spider Pandemonium

Mornings are becoming one of my favorite times of day. Except for when I'm crawling into bed at night. I love our bed. I know I've written about it before, but our puffy-cloud-happiness-pillow-top mattress is incredible. I love climbing into bed every night, it's fantastic. I'm also starting to enjoy getting up in the morning. I don't always get up as early as I want to. Okay, I don't get up as early as I want to most mornings, but when I do get up, I like it. It's quiet, the cat and dog snuggle in front of the heater and we all listen to some good jams. Something good like The Band Perry or this morning we listened to Frank Sinatra. It's good. It's peaceful. You never know what's going to come during the rest of the day, but mornings generally bring the promise of peace.

For the most part mornings are peaceful, except yesterday when Remington almost ran across the road to tell a little beagle who was boss of this area. The beagle's owner wasn't sure whether to be afraid of the howling little lab or the cars zooming between the beagle and lab - one of them definitely getting hit if Remington had made a new little friend. As I hear the barking begin, I am already running out the door, hopping to slip on shoes and grabbing a coat- AND A MASSIVE SPIDER IS IN THE CORNER. WHAT? Yes, seriously, pandemonium had descended upon our house. I was torn, spider or beagle-eating-lab. I chose the dog. I grabbed a different coat, one that did not have a spider web so neatly and intricately attached to it and ran outside. Commanding Remington to come, he made sure one last time that the dog was walking away, I was safe and he was content to walk inside behind me. Fabulous. Amazing dog, he's absolutely smarter than he looks.

BUT then we got back inside. I just need to add a quick disclaimer: I do not do bugs. I don't mind snakes, mice, bats, frogs and butterflies. I hate bugs. I detest bugs. I loathe bugs. AND THERE WAS MASSIVE SPIDER IN MY MUDROOM. There is a possibility that I am known in my family for exaggerating stories. Family, I am not exaggerating. It was large and in charge. It had yellow, red and black on it. In the animal world, bright colors generally mean bad things. Very bad things. All of these statements are 100% true. No exaggeration here.

So, it was me, Remington and Aruba. I was the only one with opposable thumbs. I was the only one taller than two feet. So, I guess I drew the short stick. The cat and dog beat me in a game of who gets to kill the massive, poisonous spider. I grabbed the nearest shoe, which also happened to be the one I had just worn outside moments earlier to get my beagle-eating-lab (only kidding, he's a sweetheart). I knew I had one chance and it needed to count. I flung that shoe like no one has ever seen a shoe flung. And The Spider was gone. I don't know if I just smashed it THAT hard against the wall or maybe it just self imploded as the shoe hit it with such speed and velocity. It was gone. But the wall. It's there and it bears testimony to the death of The Spider. Shoe print and all. Oops.

Pandemonium had quickly evaporated and the morning returned to peacefulness. However, the memory of the spider had me shake out my coat this morning before I put it on, just in case. Oh, and I keep checking in the nooks and crannies in the house, just in case. Oh, and I felt like I had creepy crawlies on me all day, just because. But, The Spider is dead and I lived to tell about it.

Remington and Aruba didn't seem too bothered about it though, they've recovered well (it's possible that they didn't know anything happened, just saying.)

Here's what my mornings looks like: 

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